


Everything Will Glow

by luvsohn



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, M/M, weird moon analogies????
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-18 06:56:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21740248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luvsohn/pseuds/luvsohn
Summary: under the sweet moonlight, seungmin reflects on how his life has changed, how much it has stayed the same, and how much he owes it all to felix.
Relationships: Kim Seungmin/Lee Felix
Comments: 3
Kudos: 34





	Everything Will Glow

There’s moonlight filtering in through the blinds, casting a pale light across the wooden floorboards. It stops just short of the bottom of their bed, as if the moon was reaching out toward them. Seungmin knows that’s not the case - the moon can’t reach for anything, of course. Yet, for a moment, he finds himself wanting to clamber out of bed and reach out too. He feels an ache in his chest, one that burns with familiar loneliness, as though the moon is in pain and it’s ripping through him instead.

Just before he can give into the urge, the body beside him shifts, arm thrown across his chest pulling back so the tiny hand can grasp his shirt. He turns his head, glancing down to the violet-haired boy and a gentle, fond smile graces his face. Gently, he pushes his fingers through Felix’s hair, causing the boy to settle at the touch. 

Even in his sleep, Felix is calmed by skinship.

The thought only causes Seungmins smile to widen.

Seungmin isn’t sure why he isn’t asleep. He hasn’t checked the time - he likes living in this strange, imaginary phantom zone where time doesn’t exist. It’s just him, the stars and the moon. He remembers when his life was different, back before he’d met Felix. His loneliness had seeped from him, spilled over into his daytime. 

Perhaps that’s what he feels from the moon these days. He wonders if it’s echoes of his past, a reminder of what he once was. Maybe those objects in the sky are reminding him of what they used to be, the symbolism they once held. How much his life had changed - yet how much it had stayed the same, too.

Seungmin had grown up believing that love was something that would sweep him up, that would cause a great, irreversible change in his life that he was powerless against. Truth be told, the idea had scared him. His life wasn’t awful; he didn’t particularly want anything to pull him away from it into the unknown. People always spoke about “fate”, about how one day he’d find someone he was destined to be with. Seungmin had always vehemently argued against this, had always found the concept ridiculous.

Which is why he was completely unprepared for Felix. No-one had told him that sometimes, just sometimes, you meet someone and the most remarkable thing is how little you change. Or, perhaps, how you can change so greatly and never even notice. (Maybe that’s what the moon was trying to show him.)

He’d met Felix years ago, thanks to Jisung. He doesn’t remember how exactly the pair had met, only that they had. That wasn’t Seungmin’s story to tell, after all. Not really. No, his story begins in Jisung’s apartment, the three of them sprawled on the couch, playing Mario Kart until 4am. It had been that easy with Felix since the beginning.

He hadn’t particularly noticed himself falling in love. To him, he was just growing as every other person does. Felix quickly became a part of that. Seungmin didn’t mind; it felt like he was always supposed to be a part of it, after all. Soon, they became glued to each others sides. That gently, almost unnoticeable, progressed to something more. Although - Seungmin is hesitant to phrase it like that. It didn’t feel like it was more. None of it did. It just felt like what it was. It just felt right.

He doesn’t remember the first time they held hands. Neither of them do. Seungmin thinks it was when they went to the haunted house with Minho and Jisung - Felix had been terrified, he hid himself behind Seungmin as much as he physically could. It had only caused Seungmin to laugh even harder. Seungmin thinks Felix had taken hold of his hand then, anchoring himself to Seungmin from that moment onward.

Felix thinks it was during Seungmin’s first proper photography award show. There was a cash prize and everything. He’d been nervous and Felix had been there, by his side. Like he always was. It wouldn’t have been unnatural or surprising for Seungmin to grip Felix’s hand then. He’d done it every award show since, after all.

Seungmin’s stirred out of his thoughts when Felix moves, pressing his chin against his shoulder. Seungmin lets his hand drop from Felix’s hair, only for him to grab his hand and place it gently back on his head. Seungmin just lets out a quiet, almost private laugh, before he continues playing with Felix’s hair.

“Why’re you awake?” Felix asks, blinking a couple times, rubbing his knuckles against his eyes. Seungmin thinks he’s cute when he’s just woken up, even if it’s the middle of the night and he has a dentist appointment in the morning.

“Just thinking, that’s all. You should go back to sleep.” He responds, turning his head to kiss his forehead softly. 

“S’okay. I’ll stay awake with you for a bit.” Before Seungmin can protest, or remind him of his appointment, Felix shuffles, resting his back against the headboard. He moves closer, throws his leg over Seungmin’s and presses their heads together. 

Felix always tries to be closer to Seungmin. They could be as close as physically possible, yet Felix will continue searching for ways to be closer. Seungmin thinks this should be annoying, but he finds he doesn’t mind. Not when it’s Felix. 

Perhaps it’s because he, too, craves to be closer, ever closer. There’s something about him, something so fascinating it draws Seungmin in, like a moth to a light. But then - even that analogy is weak, plus, he knows that being close to Felix can’t cause him pain. He trusts that it won't cause him pain. So, he gives in. He lets himself crave Felix in his entirety, lets himself fall further and further everyday. Gradually, without ever really intending to, he lets Felix become a part of him.

As if he ever really had a choice anyway.

“If we were born again, what would you want us to be?”

Seungmin quirks an eyebrow at Felix’s question, but doesn’t verbalise his confusion. He doesn’t really need to; he knows Felix is probably just as confused as him. Plus, he knows better than anyone that being awake at this time - whatever time that may be - inspires honest questions like this.

So, instead, he just hums, thinking of his answer. He knows Felix won’t be satisfied if he answers with something cheesy yet honest, about how he wants them to be born again as themselves. He means it, though. He likes them the way they are, with the easy comfort they provide each other.

“Soulmates.” So, he answers. Sure, it’s cheating, if only a little. It’s another way of saying “just like this” and he knows it, but he hopes it’s different enough for Felix to accept. At this point, Seungmin is convinced that he could live a thousand lives and he would be alright as long as he finds Felix again. 

Perhaps that’s what he exists to do.

To fall, again and again and again.

An existence made to fall in love with Felix?

Now, isn’t that a fate worth believing in?


End file.
